[ His eyes drift away and he picks up one of the blindfolds to tug on the elastic. ]
Jaune, I have... difficulties with opening up to people. The killing game just made it worse. [ He doesn’t put the blindfold back, and instead starts walking towards another section, indicating for Jaune to follow him to...
the handcuffs??? Aren’t you glad you’re on this trip Jaune? ]
[ Somehow it's helping that they're in a place like this anyway. They can both be uncomfortable, even if it's for entirely different reasons. ]
Yup. That's what happens when you don't have any family to rely on, y'know? After, I did... but I chose them. Or at least that's what I remember. [ He pauses. ] What I'm telling you has to be a secret, okay? There are some people from my world here that weren't told everything... because it's probably better they don't know.
[ Telling Momota Kaito he isn't really an atronaut would probably break him. ]
But most of my memories are fake, so I can't exactly rely on them either.
[ Why is he smiling about this??? ] The only ones I'm certain of are the ones that happened in that game--that I made for myself.
You say that like you almost care about those people.
[ He can smile all he wants, though, Jaune will just do all the worrying for the both of them. ]
So you're saying the only memories you do have are of that sick game. I can see why... you'd be like that. Finding yourself in this world, against your will, wouldn't feel that different either. Trust would be hard to come by...
ndrv3 spoilers just in case someone wanders in here
[ Jaune has been lied to so many times that he should probably brush that off, especially with how casual Ouma is being about it.
And yet he always gives him the benefit of the doubt. ]
...So it's true. [ Not that Jaune had suspected it, but it has certainly been alluded to before. Sad as it makes him, though, he doesn't want to break down and start mourning him either. It wouldn't feel right, since the only Ouma he's ever known is the one before him, who as of now is alive and well. He'll take comfort in that. ]
[ If he isn’t casual about it the only ither option is to break down and that isn’t something he wants to do in a sex shop, thanks. He pauses at the question, telling himself that this is fine, Jaune’s already proved himself over and over, Shuichi encouraged him to talk about this, too. ]
It was to end the game. I created a plan that was supposed to thwart the mastermind. It didn’t work as I wanted... but Saihara-chan and the others got out. That’s what matters.
[ That sounds a lot like something Jaune would say. In fact, he did, not too long ago. "They're the ones that matter". He's not sure if these self-sacrificial tendencies are good thing, but at least he feels like they're of the same mind, on some level. ]
You know... that game is over. You don't... have to be like that anymore. You can be a great friend like that to anyone here.
I shouldn't have judged you for what you did, Ouma. I'm... I'm really sorry.
[ He should have been a better friend that night - should have tried to understand more. ]
[ Jaune is probably a lot more level headed about it--I mean, he didn't actually die for people already. That's something! ]
My personality and memories were all written to be like this, y'know? It isn't like I can re-write them overnight. [ The smile on his face drops to be a lot more simple though, held in place out of sheer necessity. ]
But you have every right to judge me. I wasn't innocent. What I said about manipulating someone into murdering someone else... about pretending to be the mastermind and making everyone hate me.
Okay, then tell me this - are you proud of what you did?
[ Because that might be the thing that separates him from Cinder; in Jaune's point of view at least. Anyone should have a chance to redeem themselves, as long as they're willing. ]
[ Somehow he never expected that question, and for a second it throws him off. His face twists into something unrecognisable, an expression he's never really worn. Distressed in a way that's stuck with a forced smile, but he can't keep it in place at all. ]
I died with everyone hating me... but I probably hate myself more than all those people combined. Murder... hurting others is the worst. It's kinda funny, huh? I'm actually a pacifist.
[ At least in a weird and twisted way, considering all the things his friend had to do. Jaune doesn't laugh, though, and only ends up smiling warmly. ]
I think this place... it's given us a second chance at things, you know? Maybe some of us screwed up something back home, or never got to do the thing we wanted. Some died, some go on with regrets, some are born well-off, while others get dealt a bad hand...
--but no matter what, we start off as equals here.
[ A very weird and twisted way. Thanks, Shirogane, for turning him into what he hates. He may not have murdered someone with his own hands, but in his eyes it was the same thing. ]
Mm... that's what Saihara-chan said too. Something like that, anyway. We're... we're all trying to get our footing here now. There's nothing for us to go back to, so as long as we can stay... that's fine.
[ He blinks down at his hand, hesitates before he goes to shake it. The moment is a bit too delicate to make this worse, tbh ]
[ It's almost a little too real, isn't it? Neither of them are too used to this dynamic with each other, and maybe Jaune thinks he's doing Ouma a favour by bringing it down to a crude level that is normally instigated by the other guy.
As they shake hands in earnest, Jaune slaps on a baseball cap on Ouma's head with his free hand. ]
Riiiight. It was pretty good. [ Only then Jaune is slapping the cap on his head, and he has to lift his hand to feel it. Thankfully he is not embarrassed at all by things like this.
Instead he'll just make it worse. ]
Wooooow, this is pretty small. If I'm gonna wear one on my head I wanna be like the reality, y'know?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Jaune, I have... difficulties with opening up to people. The killing game just made it worse. [ He doesn’t put the blindfold back, and instead starts walking towards another section, indicating for Jaune to follow him to...
the handcuffs??? Aren’t you glad you’re on this trip Jaune? ]
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Moving on. ]
Were you anything like this... before that awful game?
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Yup. That's what happens when you don't have any family to rely on, y'know? After, I did... but I chose them. Or at least that's what I remember. [ He pauses. ] What I'm telling you has to be a secret, okay? There are some people from my world here that weren't told everything... because it's probably better they don't know.
[ Telling Momota Kaito he isn't really an atronaut would probably break him. ]
But most of my memories are fake, so I can't exactly rely on them either.
[ Why is he smiling about this??? ] The only ones I'm certain of are the ones that happened in that game--that I made for myself.
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[ He can smile all he wants, though, Jaune will just do all the worrying for the both of them. ]
So you're saying the only memories you do have are of that sick game. I can see why... you'd be like that. Finding yourself in this world, against your will, wouldn't feel that different either. Trust would be hard to come by...
ndrv3 spoilers just in case someone wanders in here
[ It feels weird actually saying it though, because it isn't like he ever implies it properly either. ]
But that isn't quite right either. This world is... much better than home.
[ He picks up a pair of fluffy??? handcuffs and spins them on his index finger for a minute, looking back at Jaune. ] After all, I'm dead back there.
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And yet he always gives him the benefit of the doubt. ]
...So it's true. [ Not that Jaune had suspected it, but it has certainly been alluded to before. Sad as it makes him, though, he doesn't want to break down and start mourning him either. It wouldn't feel right, since the only Ouma he's ever known is the one before him, who as of now is alive and well. He'll take comfort in that. ]
Was that part of the game, too?
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It was to end the game. I created a plan that was supposed to thwart the mastermind. It didn’t work as I wanted... but Saihara-chan and the others got out. That’s what matters.
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You know... that game is over. You don't... have to be like that anymore. You can be a great friend like that to anyone here.
I shouldn't have judged you for what you did, Ouma. I'm... I'm really sorry.
[ He should have been a better friend that night - should have tried to understand more. ]
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My personality and memories were all written to be like this, y'know? It isn't like I can re-write them overnight. [ The smile on his face drops to be a lot more simple though, held in place out of sheer necessity. ]
But you have every right to judge me. I wasn't innocent. What I said about manipulating someone into murdering someone else... about pretending to be the mastermind and making everyone hate me.
That was all true.
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[ Because that might be the thing that separates him from Cinder; in Jaune's point of view at least. Anyone should have a chance to redeem themselves, as long as they're willing. ]
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I died with everyone hating me... but I probably hate myself more than all those people combined. Murder... hurting others is the worst. It's kinda funny, huh? I'm actually a pacifist.
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[ At least in a weird and twisted way, considering all the things his friend had to do. Jaune doesn't laugh, though, and only ends up smiling warmly. ]
I think this place... it's given us a second chance at things, you know? Maybe some of us screwed up something back home, or never got to do the thing we wanted. Some died, some go on with regrets, some are born well-off, while others get dealt a bad hand...
--but no matter what, we start off as equals here.
[ He holds his hand out to him.
... Please don't cuff him. (haha do it) ]
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Mm... that's what Saihara-chan said too. Something like that, anyway. We're... we're all trying to get our footing here now. There's nothing for us to go back to, so as long as we can stay... that's fine.
[ He blinks down at his hand, hesitates before he goes to shake it. The moment is a bit too delicate to make this worse, tbh ]
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As they shake hands in earnest, Jaune slaps on a baseball cap on Ouma's head with his free hand. ]
Couldn't have said it better myself.
[ this is the hat btw ]
...D-Dick heaa-- [ BURSTS OUT LAUGHING :') he sucks at this ]
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Instead he'll just make it worse. ]
Wooooow, this is pretty small. If I'm gonna wear one on my head I wanna be like the reality, y'know?
[ nO ]
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You don't know the first thing about reality. [ He says it lightheartedly enough. ] But that's okay, I still accept you for who you are.
[ That part is genuine. ]
...No matter how big or how small you can be.
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[ He's going to take the cap off and shove it back on the side though, he doesn't want to buy it and what if they try to make him???? ]
Anyway, if you wanna be an ass, you can help me pick out a pair of handcuffs. Which would you rather be tied down with, my beloved Jaune?
[ This is not a gag tag. ]
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[ He thinks about it for a good moment, but ultimately chickens out of answering. ]
I-I can't tell you that, it's confidential, hahahah!! Don't make this weird!
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[ He means Kaito but this is not at all obvious sorry Jaune. ]
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[ Even he's not doing the handcuffing yet! ... Why does he keep relating it back to himself though?? ]
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[ Really, Jaune, why do you?
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[ He went with the most radical flavour he could think of. What does it mean, though? ... Not even he knows. ]
So, what, this... this "beneficial friend" of yours... you guys are gonna be official? Aren't you moving a little too fast?
[ why does he sound like he's jealous ]
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What does that even mean? Jaune pls. Also it really does sound like he's jealous, but things are going to become more complicated now. ]
Why wouldn't we be official? He already asked me to move in with him and we're both dating the same person.
[ SURPRISE. ]
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G-Geez, for someone who stinks at opening up to others, you're sure getting chummy with a lot of people real fast.
[ How long was he even gone for this canon update?! ]
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...They're both from home.
[ The way he says that is quieter though, and he's fiddling??? with the handcuffs in his hand now. ]
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