[ He blinks at her once her mini speech is done, then slowly moves to stand up. ] It sounds like you’ve been spending too much time with Momota-chan when you make such inspiring speeches like that, Hinasaki-chan. Gross.
[ He steps away from her, dropping the papers into a corner. He’s quiet for a moment, but then when he looks back at her again he looks and sounds serious. ] Iruma-chan attempted to kill me, that’s why I had her murdered instead. You wanted to know, right? Better hearing it from me than being shocked if you ever see it. It was a pretty horrendous sight, after all. So if you have some pleasant thought about me wanting to protect her from the truth, I’m more protecting myself. Happy now?
[Miu rolls her eyes and neglects to comment on that. Was it an inspiring speech? She didn't think so. Why did he have to keep undermining her attempts at being honest?? Briefly she considers finding the pillow and whacking him with it a few times until she feels better, but then he's speaking again, and--
Oh.
She blinks slowly, feeling curiously numb to the admission. It's a lot to take in and believe all at once, but a searching look at Kokichi's face tells her that he isn't lying. He'd already told her once before that he'd had someone killed, but it's different when she can put truth and faces to it.
Ren had killed someone too as a child, supposedly. She remembered visiting that memory quite clearly. She remembers the memory of Kyozo Kururugi too and his frenzied massacre of the priests and priestesses before lighting himself on fire.
It's different when it's someone you've been growing close to, and at once Miu feels exhausted all over again. It's been a very long night.
Slowly she wets her lips with the tip of her tongue, running his--confession?-- over in her head again and eyeing Kokichi with a frown. It's a strange struggle of trying to combine this knowledge with what she already knew and what she'd thought she'd known. And maybe some disconnect in trying to combine this with what she knows of Iruma. 'Iruma-chan attempted to kill me.' That Iruma? Purposefully?
In the end, though, there's nothing really to say about it. Her decision from before, when he'd hinted at this the first time, hasn't changed. Instead she asks]
What are you hoping I'll do? Or say? Do you want me to hate you or to push you away? Do you want me to get scared and run off? You should already know what my response is. It hasn't changed.
[ The whole point of saying that was to completely shake her up with the rest, true. He doesn't move as she processes it all, not sure if she'll automatically believe it or not. Will she even want to? On top of that, he's more than aware she's struggling with the death of her mother. ]
If I wanted you to hate me, I'd show you a visual, because I didn't even tell you the worst part of it or why everyone else hated me after it. [ He pauses. ] You're friends, right? I have no idea if she is from further in the past or just had her memories messed with, what would you do if you saw that and she still had no idea?
[Miu frowns at him a moment and hesitates with her answer, because, well, she's not sure.]
I'm not sure if it'd work if the memories were blocked or something. But... [She won't point out that it's likely Iruma would re-experience it too and remember it if the memories were just blocked but still there.]
...I don't know. Tell you and Saihara-san that I saw it and let you guys decide from there. This is... between you and Iruma-san, and sort of Saihara-san. [He's their babysitter, not her!!] I'm not going to tell her anything I know. I don't think she'd believe it if it came from me anyhow, since I'm not from your world or anything. She'd just call me a liar and get mad, probably...
[Miu trails off, eyeing Kokichi in consideration.] ...If she tried to go after you, I'd stop her.
Even if it isn't with your weird abilities, even I can share memories here if I'm concentrating enough. You never know, Hinasaki-chan. [ Well, normally Tojo would be the babysitter but she's not here so yeah... good luck Saihara. ]
Like she's one to talk, everyone completely fell for her act. [ He sighs. ] And you don't have to say something like that, y'know? I'd probably deserve it if she did.
[She doubts Kokichi would purposefully share sensitive memories with anyone though, so that kind of comment doesn't mean anything to her.
She does grit her teeth in irritation, however, at the rest of his commentary. I'd probably deserve it, well yeah probably, but that doesn't make it okay. She turns and moves to grab the pillow that had been abandoned by the canoe earlier and lobs it at him.]
Stupid! Think about someone else's feelings for a change! If something happened to you, I-- [Well, not just herself really] There's still people that'd be upset! I don't-- They don't-- [Ah fuck it she's talking about herself right now and they both know it. She sighs, aggravated, and shakes her head, closing her eyes a moment both to calm herself and because it's easier to say these things when she's not looking at him.] I don't want to lose you too.
[ He might with Saihara, but that's... a different story to this. He doesn't move as she hits him with the pillow though, just clenches his jaw as he keeps smiling at her. ]
Ah, but you wouldn't lose me, Hinasaki-chan! Didn't you know? If you die here, you just come back a couple of days later. Poof! You're back.
[ His eyes move up to her hand that's raised, and that just makes his smile widen. Whether it's because he's found something to latch onto, is faked or he's actually happy isn't exactly clear though. ]
Hey, Hinasaki-chan did you know Momota-chan punched me a lot before. If you want to, I might not actually be surprised. Either way! I've heard it from enough sources that I doubt that'd happen.
...I'm not going to hit you. [Her fingers clench and unclench and she takes a breath to cal herself. It was easier when she didn't really have emotions. It was easier when she could cut herself off, so she tries to regain that for the moment.]
I'm selfish, remember...? I don't care if it's only temporary, that doesn't give you any free reign to be reckless with your life. You don't know everything about how this place works, you can't say for certain it'll work out in your favor.
[ Oh he knows that too, thanks. She's just as guilty at making him feel more as well, so she can suffer through this with him. ]
You really are selfish. But I guess I shouldn't expect too much of someone who struggled along and latched onto a memory of someone who didn't deserve her. [ He looks at his hand rather than her. ] And maybe I don't know enough about this place, but it's still better than the odds I had back home.
[Her vision wavers and blurs with sudden tears. Nice reminder, thanks Kokichi you fuck. She makes a small, frustrated noise and wipes at her face, then stands there for a moment with her hand pressed over her eyes]
...Can't you... At least promise to be careful? I'm not the only one that'd be hurt by it. Regardless of if you come back or not.
Then... We'll just have to keep at it until you believe us, I guess.
[Challenge accepted. She sniffles a little and drops her hand down to her side again. She feels exhausted again and takes a deep breath, exhaling slowly.]
Why does talking to you always make me feel like I need to nap for 5 years afterwards?
Uh huh. [ But he isn't going to keep talking about that. ] Because right now I'm still mad at you--whether it's warranted or not. You can sleep some more if you want though, I'm not gonna stop you.
How am I supposed to sleep with this kind of hostility in air again...?
[She crosses her arms over her chest and watches him a moment] Aren't you going to sleep? [She's pretty sure he didn't sleep while she was, unless he...slept on the canoe thing. somehow...]
[She has to wonder if he's not insisting that she leaves for a reason, if maybe he's not ready to see her leave as much as she's not really feeling ready to leave herself. She'd purposefully given him an out, if he'd just lied a little or something, but he didn't take it.
Curious, maybe, but she can't let herself dwell on it. Sometimes there wasn't much sense to the things he did in the first place.
She crosses to the bed with a light sigh, giving in and pulling the covers down to crawl into them properly this time.] How nice of you, but no. It's fine.
[Miu rolls over so her back is to him, giving them both a moment so they don't have to be looking at each other. After a moment she speaks up] But... If you could be near-by...
[ He isn't exactly making it easy to figure out this time either, which is probably a testament to how normally he is playing around when he lies. It's there to thorw people off more than anything else, but now as he speaks and doesn't really give any indication of whether it's true or a lie... Well. It's different. ]
Nghhhh... You're being demanding today, huh?
[ He sounds playful, but he picks up his papers and moves to sit down against the side of the bed she's curled up on. His back presses down against the bed, but he doesn't look back at her. ]
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[ He steps away from her, dropping the papers into a corner. He’s quiet for a moment, but then when he looks back at her again he looks and sounds serious. ] Iruma-chan attempted to kill me, that’s why I had her murdered instead. You wanted to know, right? Better hearing it from me than being shocked if you ever see it. It was a pretty horrendous sight, after all. So if you have some pleasant thought about me wanting to protect her from the truth, I’m more protecting myself. Happy now?
[ He smiles at her, overly sickly sweet. ]
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Oh.
She blinks slowly, feeling curiously numb to the admission. It's a lot to take in and believe all at once, but a searching look at Kokichi's face tells her that he isn't lying. He'd already told her once before that he'd had someone killed, but it's different when she can put truth and faces to it.
Ren had killed someone too as a child, supposedly. She remembered visiting that memory quite clearly. She remembers the memory of Kyozo Kururugi too and his frenzied massacre of the priests and priestesses before lighting himself on fire.
It's different when it's someone you've been growing close to, and at once Miu feels exhausted all over again. It's been a very long night.
Slowly she wets her lips with the tip of her tongue, running his--confession?-- over in her head again and eyeing Kokichi with a frown. It's a strange struggle of trying to combine this knowledge with what she already knew and what she'd thought she'd known. And maybe some disconnect in trying to combine this with what she knows of Iruma. 'Iruma-chan attempted to kill me.' That Iruma? Purposefully?
In the end, though, there's nothing really to say about it. Her decision from before, when he'd hinted at this the first time, hasn't changed. Instead she asks]
What are you hoping I'll do? Or say? Do you want me to hate you or to push you away? Do you want me to get scared and run off? You should already know what my response is. It hasn't changed.
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If I wanted you to hate me, I'd show you a visual, because I didn't even tell you the worst part of it or why everyone else hated me after it. [ He pauses. ] You're friends, right? I have no idea if she is from further in the past or just had her memories messed with, what would you do if you saw that and she still had no idea?
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I'm not sure if it'd work if the memories were blocked or something. But... [She won't point out that it's likely Iruma would re-experience it too and remember it if the memories were just blocked but still there.]
...I don't know. Tell you and Saihara-san that I saw it and let you guys decide from there. This is... between you and Iruma-san, and sort of Saihara-san. [He's their babysitter, not her!!] I'm not going to tell her anything I know. I don't think she'd believe it if it came from me anyhow, since I'm not from your world or anything. She'd just call me a liar and get mad, probably...
[Miu trails off, eyeing Kokichi in consideration.] ...If she tried to go after you, I'd stop her.
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Like she's one to talk, everyone completely fell for her act. [ He sighs. ] And you don't have to say something like that, y'know? I'd probably deserve it if she did.
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She does grit her teeth in irritation, however, at the rest of his commentary. I'd probably deserve it, well yeah probably, but that doesn't make it okay. She turns and moves to grab the pillow that had been abandoned by the canoe earlier and lobs it at him.]
Stupid! Think about someone else's feelings for a change! If something happened to you, I-- [Well, not just herself really] There's still people that'd be upset! I don't-- They don't-- [Ah fuck it she's talking about herself right now and they both know it. She sighs, aggravated, and shakes her head, closing her eyes a moment both to calm herself and because it's easier to say these things when she's not looking at him.] I don't want to lose you too.
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Ah, but you wouldn't lose me, Hinasaki-chan! Didn't you know? If you die here, you just come back a couple of days later. Poof! You're back.
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So-- what? That makes it okay?
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Why not?
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...You're a terrible liar. And what happens if this place decides not to revive you, or something goes wrong and it's actually permanent?
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Hey, Hinasaki-chan did you know Momota-chan punched me a lot before. If you want to, I might not actually be surprised. Either way! I've heard it from enough sources that I doubt that'd happen.
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I'm selfish, remember...? I don't care if it's only temporary, that doesn't give you any free reign to be reckless with your life. You don't know everything about how this place works, you can't say for certain it'll work out in your favor.
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You really are selfish. But I guess I shouldn't expect too much of someone who struggled along and latched onto a memory of someone who didn't deserve her. [ He looks at his hand rather than her. ] And maybe I don't know enough about this place, but it's still better than the odds I had back home.
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...Can't you... At least promise to be careful? I'm not the only one that'd be hurt by it. Regardless of if you come back or not.
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Maybe. Though those people are still trying to convince me of that as well. [ The smile on his face is actually blank. ] So don't take it personally.
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[Challenge accepted. She sniffles a little and drops her hand down to her side again. She feels exhausted again and takes a deep breath, exhaling slowly.]
Why does talking to you always make me feel like I need to nap for 5 years afterwards?
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[She crosses her arms over her chest and watches him a moment] Aren't you going to sleep? [She's pretty sure he didn't sleep while she was, unless he...slept on the canoe thing. somehow...]
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[ His hand reaches up to play with the tip of his hair, twisting it. ] I'm not tired, so go ahead.
[ He's knackered after all this, but he doesn't want... to sleep. ]
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Would you sleep if I left?
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[ He blinks back at her. ]
Nope, so you can stay there. If it isn't singing, do you need me to tuck you in or something?
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Curious, maybe, but she can't let herself dwell on it. Sometimes there wasn't much sense to the things he did in the first place.
She crosses to the bed with a light sigh, giving in and pulling the covers down to crawl into them properly this time.] How nice of you, but no. It's fine.
[Miu rolls over so her back is to him, giving them both a moment so they don't have to be looking at each other. After a moment she speaks up] But... If you could be near-by...
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Nghhhh... You're being demanding today, huh?
[ He sounds playful, but he picks up his papers and moves to sit down against the side of the bed she's curled up on. His back presses down against the bed, but he doesn't look back at her. ]
Better?
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She smiles to herself though.]
...Yeah, actually. [A pause and softer] Thank you.
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There, there.
[ His tone sounds sarcastic as fuck, but he does lift up his left hand to pat hers gently, before he just lets it rest there. ]
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